You Are What You Are? You Are Spiritual?

I live a very weird life. I am very introspective about life and try to internalize the knowledge and bits of information that always bombard me. I can't say I successfully do that all the time but I am trying to grasp all views of all people. This is a blog about why we do things and see the things the way we do, I call it PRTA.

Perspective - The first thing we bring to any situation is our perspective, our paradigm, our world-view. Somehow we made sense of this world around us and developed a way of dealing with it, we developed a perspective. In every situation we face we will add our perspective to it.

Can a perspective be right? I think there are some truths but perspective's are our slant on things (personal). Life is firstly perspective. I drink pop but some people (Mormons) find caffeine reprehensible and it should not be consumed (who's right?). Pop isn't the healthiest choice and maybe that defines their belief or maybe it's forbidden by God, I am not totally sure why that's a belief of theirs. If they can convince me to stop drinking pop well I just might, perspectives do change after all. A perspective is what drives your core beliefs. Core beliefs may be seen as 'true' until another perspective shows otherwise. Basically, as humans we are in a state of 'flux' in a world that is infinite. We have 'our point of view' and none others. We are changed by the things around us whether that be a car accident, something we read, someone's affair, someone is healed...everything plays a part in how we will define the world. As I said that changes.

Reaction - We live from a 'perspective' but we are changed by our reactions to new information we process; we react to things around us. Someone may believe that God is a healer, I mean that is what Jesus did a lot of. Then you pray for someone to get healed and they don't, they actually perish. You feel like your faith let you down, at least that's what you're told. But you question that and notice 'yeah you may have doubted a bit' but healing doesn't hinge upon you anyways, it's God's act. You start the chain reaction of questioning your core belief. Eventually you come to a new more moderate belief that doesn't condemn you for having 'too little faith'. You start to say 'that was God's will' and there was very little you could of done outside His will. By reacting you change the very nature of the way you believe, your view of God, and your view of yourself. Reaction is this, your view of a bullet changes when your the one shot, not shooting. But reaction is the 2nd step in a change of direction. Timing is everything.

Timing - Things happen in a certain time-frame, seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, etc. Some things happen in a few seconds, like a car accident, but linger for a few months. Some things happen in seconds like being shot or punched (little time to react). Some things take months, like preganancy, while birth may take hours. And some things take a longer time, like a war that may take years to resolve.

When things happen they happen in a time-frame, you have time to collect yourself (perspective), react to the situation, and then develop an outcome (action)...and that time-frame means a lot. When considering beliefs, you have a lifetime to decide what you truly believe since that may be allotted to you. When being robbed you have precious seconds to develop a paradigm for the situation and usually you're at a loss for words. But in both situations your ideas about life will change. The person challenging his beliefs 'chips away at the stone' for months perhaps; the person robbed develops feelings of fear (in an instant) that grow into ideas of 'protection' at all costs so as to never feel like a victim again. Perspective and reactions are subject to the present time you find yourself in. Now it's time to act.

Action - The inevitable result of living. I have a paradigm, I react to situations, and then I act upon what changes I have made (or not made). Actions do not proceed before belief, even the robber knows that he wants 'money' so thusly he acts; the person being robbed tries to think of what to do then he acts (even if out of fear). We are defined by our actions. Someone who is called a 'pedophile' didn't earn that because they won spelling bees. Someone called a 'doctor' didn't earn the name mowing lawns. They earned it by their actions which accordingly enough fit the name they are called.

We commit actions because that's what we are, humans 'being'. Our perspectives only change when actions accompany them, to solidify the belief. You won't do something you don't believe in. Mormons won't drink caffeine because they don't believe in it. I do however. Here is how it all fits together. My perspective about guns is that there is nothing wrong with them and all people should own one, if only for protection. I see the Columbine incident and all of a sudden I react in horror to 2 teens gunning down other teens with sub-machine weapons, for the sole case of murdering these innocent children. My reaction causes a change in my original perspective because now I think guns of that magnitude are of no use in society and should definitely not be in city homes. I then take action upon my belief. I discard my weapons (a handgun) and tell others that this is the right thing to do. Ta da.

So who cares? Well for one I do. Knowing this process makes you privy to many things. Firstly, you change the lives of indivduals around you daily with your actions, which in turn causes someone to react and change their perspective. You are what you eat, think, drink, dream, fantasize, read, watch, etc...dependant on how you internalize that stuff. Others are then at your whim because your perspective may be a driving force in someone else's life. It sounds like a big responsibility, well it isn't...that's exactly who you are. You will help others define themselves as they come into contact with you.

Secondly, who the hell are you? If you don't know then you best find out right away. You need to struglle internally with that question until you produce answers befitting your character. You need to know what you believe and why you believe it. You need to look at your reactions and question that. Basically, you need a world-view, a pardigm to live life...those without it get lost in a world of unending knowledge and dismay. If you don't know yourself and your capabilities then one day you will surprise yourself and that reaction may trouble you (and effect others).

Thirdly, no one person that I have seen has all the answers. It's alright to claim you do but you'd be lieing out your teeth. Many experiences will come your way and change the very foundation you thought was a 'rock', for no man is a rock. But even rocks are shaped by the flowing stream over time. You have a paradigm right now that is subject to change. So does every other person around you. You are not always right or always wrong but you are 'always' something. We hate to believe we don't have all the answers but to claim otherwise is just nieve.

Lastly, there is a time for everything and when these times come we have to prepare ourselves. That is why we build paradigms so we can react adequately to life and life unexpected. Without a paradigm or set of core beliefs to fall back on we are like a wild animal on concrete streets, we don't have a clue how to react to these surroundings. We have to be prepared to face the inevitable and the unknown because that's exactly what tomorrow is. But the better building and refining of our perspective the better we will roll with the situation.

What's the point? You are a spiritual being and everything you do means something. We should take heart that we mean so much to so many, although they will rarely tell you. It's a human point of view but that's all I really have to work from.

The Crux: The Point Where Reality Overtakes Fiction

I was just reading my brother's blog today and he came across a marvelous quote from Martin Luther King Jr. I have decided to dedicate a blog to it.

"I must honestly reiterate that I have been dissapointed with the Church, I do not say this as one of those negative critics who can always find something wrong with the Church . I say this as a minister of the gospel, who loves the church....I felt we would be supported by the white church. I felt that the white ministers, priests and rabbis of the South would be among our strongest allies. Instead, some have been outright opponents, refusing to understand the freedom movement and misrepresenting its leaders; all too many others have been more cautious than courageous and have remained silent behind the anesthetizing security of stained-glass windows." - Martin Luther King Jr.

"I like this passage because it demonstrates the philosophy that "every brother ain't a brother." King and his followers were going through the toughest challenge of their lives while the people they thought were friends turned their back and said nothing; more importantly they did nothing. I think it's a good lesson." - John Bird

Strong quotes about the state of the church, like 40 years ago! Funny these are the same churches today (Southern Baptists & the Religious Right) that both defend war with Iraq and support anything for the 'Nationalistic' pride of God, which I never knew he had. I will paint this with an all too familiar brush from the past so we can see what beloved Christian religion is steeped in, and it ain't no rock I can tell you that...more like waves of ambiguity.

King Jr. was a minister of the gospel of Christ, no more than that...he lived it out. When civil rights was in it's beginnings King Jr. took his beliefs and joined the rally, even led it. He knew that 'all men were created equal' and that segregation was an oppressive force leading to the ruin of African-American neighborhoods. So he sat at the counter's and ate with African-American students, lead peaceful marches through the south, decided to ride the bus with Rosa, got hounded, persecuted, arrested, and thrown in jail by police, and even gave his life to the movement...all he wanted wanted was freedom. What did the church do? Well some came out but by his own admission '"I felt that the white ministers, priests and rabbis of the South would be among our strongest allies. Instead, some have been outright opponents" (King Jr.)

So the southern church never backed the equality of the African-American, I wonder why? Doesn't Christ teach us that we are all equal? Does Jesus love some races more than others? Is the church 'middle-class' white folk who don't give 2 dimes to the impoverished? It's funny but I see the hypocrisy of the church in this enlightened age where we are 100% sure that God never thought one race was better than the other. Southern church never expected one thing, God would call upon them to 'take up the cross' and walk to their shame, persecution, and possibly death for fellow brothers in Christ. Why did they not expect it? They had money and respect amongst their peers, to do so would mean forfeiting that stuff to be shamed amongst their communities. They may have debated over 'God or money', we don't know, but we stand here today knowing they backed the wrong side.

I guess the real 'rub' in the story is why didn't more southern white church folk stand up and 'condemn' their fellow brothers & sisters for being 'un-godly'? And fear being thrown out of the community of God also, can I hear a 'hell no'. These people self-justified that they were doing God's will and that doing 'social justice' was just not gospel, it was anti-gospel or so they must of taught (or just turned a blind eye). Where was the voices of reason in an unreasonable generation? The voices of reason were tried alone & died alone...King Jr., Evers, and many others. Don't you think we as a church need to 'speak up' against social ill's like this that plague humanity? Don't we think Christ just might of took up the cross and followed along? WWJD?

I find it absolutely appaling when churches let things slide out of control around them when they have the right (I might say duty) to lend a helping hand. They talk a damn good game about salvation but when the act is called for in modernity 'few there be that follow'.

I just finished learning about a Mormon commune called Bountiful, it's in BC somewhere. This community not only promotes in-breeding, polygamy, deism, but also child abuse (marrying off 15 year olds to 50 year olds). Now I got to wondering if the the local church in the town (within walking distance) has something to say for that situation? Now I can let go the polygamy, in-breeding, and deism but 'child abuse'...well I think they drew a line that we have to 'cross'. Or 'live and let live' and God will sort justice out in the end? I got 1 word for that, bullsh*t.

The church has a duty to go down to Bountiful, at least the church in that nearby town, and at least present choices and options to these oppressed teens. So what if these 'Mormon' priests condemn them and call them every name in the book, these same 'priests' are marrying 15 year olds in the name of the same God we worship. I say at the least, present them the 'good news' of Christ and start setting up shelters for these young women. If that town cannot do that then I can't imagine them on the day of Tyre and Sidon's judgment. Ouch, too critical.

I am just saying speak out at injustices that are obvious injustices, be the responsible body of Christ. Injustices are happening around us all the time and the church focuses it's attentions on the damn dumbest things like gay marriage, prayer in school, 10 commandments in courts, and in-fighting with other denominations over 'gospel' validity and interpretation. Problem is there are real social injustices that need to be stood against and problems that need to be addressed with answers.

Oh, we can wait for gov't to step in and maybe 'Koresh' the situation, or maybe they'll just keep up with the 'Jones's'...still maybe if some other 'God-believing' people stepped in they might see a better outcome seeing we come from a similar perspective. You see what they knew about Waco and in Jonestown was something simple we haven't quite learned yet...people of faith might have been able to persuade people away from these 'radical' theologies coming from similar footing. I still don't see why that is something the church cannot do? We have a voice.

All I am saying is we need to stand-up for 'civil rights' amongst humanity, isn't that what Jesus taught and lived out before us (ex: Samaritan and leprosy issue of his day)? All I know is if I see someone using God for their 'weird' benefit that we have to step in and be the voice of true reason. Let's not pretend we came into a faith that let's us off the hook to the people around us, cause that's not what I read. There are issues out there that are not worth 'looking the other way on' and we as a church have to unite, stand together, and both protest these problems but pool our resources into answers. Jesus really is the answer, now go find the question.

Who is God?: 2 Views of Opposition

“There is much to support the idea that Jesus died for all without need of any help on the part of mankind to complete the work” (FiddlerPaul, a blogger)

Great quote about salvation and what Christ did on behalf of humanity. Funny that quote might sum up the idea behind mainstream church’s idea’s about salvation.I think the church doesn’t believe ‘mankind participated in the cross’ by simply believing or doing…that’s ludicrous. I think mainstream church thinks the cross is the act of salvation but can we refuse that gift? According to Danny Kaye (a blogger) ‘yes’, according to many of the bloggers on YBMT ‘no’. Basically it’s all in perception.

One group says ‘God did it all and man has no choice but to accept it’. Another group says ‘God did it all but man does have a choice to accept it’. That’s the 2 views in a nutshell. Which one is speaking for God? That’s the tough part to figure out. But you don't write blogs to hold back so I'll add my 2 cents in.

What strikes me as odd is that one side is proporting 'free will' and the other says there is no 'free will' within the salvation process (it can't be both). Free will means we have the choice to choose Christ's redemption for our lives by simply believing in Him. No free will means Christ's redemption was automatically calculated onto us, whether we believe in Jesus or not. On one hand I find some judgement, if you don't believe you perish but that is strictly your choice. On the other hand I find it doesn't matter what you believe because God made that choice for you. That's where I have to draw the obvious line, 'chose for me'?

How can a man say to me, God chose for me? What reality is that based on? That's like saying my parents chose to become carpenter's so I have to and my kids have to, etc. Well that's just simply flawed reasoning from any human's point of view, cause I can so choose what my parent's want not (I'll be an electrician). Or it has been deemed by the gov't's of the world the whole world is capitalist now, does that exactly make you one? No. I still have Che Guevera leanings. Free will (decision making) exists in every situation and unbelievably that makes this colorful world what it is (to deny that is to deny absolute reality). But somehow I have to believe God denies us free will.

Here's a short OT lesson from the very start of the bible, Genesis page 1. In the beginning God chose to make the world. He chose 6 days to complete that work. He chose to rest on the 7th day. He then chose to make humanity in 'his image' (which is why I can see we are a prized possession). He chose to make a man, then the man asks for a woman (choice), so God makes him one. Then man chooses to disobey God & believe a serpent in eating an apple from a 'forbidden' tree. Man gets the boot from the garden and this is how sin came into the world. Well, what's the exact moral of that story? We don't have choice in our outcome? God made a decision on our behalf to boot us out? God 'made us in His image all except for the 'choice' part?

I can speak like a man, walk like a man, act like a man, think like a man, but I cannot make a choice like a man. If man was totally redeemed at the cross riddle me this: Why doesn man choose to still commit henious crimes against his fellow brother? Why does Jesus mention 'repentance' and so does Paul/John/Peter (I call it personal responsibility)? How can a man be saved if there is nothing to be saved from? Jesus recognizes choice throughout the gospel and this one should ring loud and clear 'do unto others as you would have done unto you, for this is the Law & the Prophets'. Again, looks like we have a choice to make according to the OT.

I actually can't find a place in the gospels where choice is not part of the equation, whether that be parables or in the stories of Jesus. If Jesus has to make that choice to die on the cross, what makes our 'crosses' any different? The early disciples understood that. If they were preaching such a 'universalist' gospel then why do 2 people drop dead in front of Peter for 'lying' to God? Why in Matthew 25:31-46 is there a dividing up of people (based on choice) when the 'son of man' comes in His kingdom? The only possible reason can be is this: there is a choice to be made.

In the same breath, we are not the determinents of people's salvation (so we have no right to condemn people), that is between them and God; not their faith judged by a church's authority (ex: let's see he's said the prayer, attends church regularily, now all we need is baptism for the tri-vector - to prove himself to the church he is saved). That's what Jesus taught against so a lot of the feelings I read coming from people that leave organized church is justified (see Matthew 6: 1-7 for real faith in God - a little too unsubstantiated for organized religion).

That's why I can draw strength from people that leave the church that preach 'universalism', they've been in this struggle, can't change it, so for freedom's sake they leave...they make themselves more my brothers by admiting the church is failing humanity. I can also say people that say 'salvation is a choice' are my brothers for they also believe in the same Jesus I do, but wait til you get burned and seek God's love and acceptance in full capacity. The rubber hits the road right here, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and I think the 'universalists' have seen the short-comings of mass church practice, I applaud them for God has opened their eyes to see what religion can become. I also applaude the reality of choice taught within churches about salvation, I mean who doesn't want to choose Jesus once the 'real Jesus' is proclaimed. So how's about a big hand for all the believers in Christ...too peacemakerish?

A 'Slice' of Reality in Laodicea

I have been reading a blog called 'Slice of Laodicea', a religious right blog, and I have been commenting with them for sometime. Recently, they have 'pulled the plug' on me posting comments. Why did they 'pull the plug'? They began arguing with this new link I have called 'smartchristian' and I wrote a comment directed at Christians not denouncing other Christians, it was censored and never put on. This is how I slice this one up.

I think Christians from all types of faiths are 'In Christ' and follow the foundational teaches of Jesus. I figure if that is correct, then aren't we all in the same church? This is Christ's body we are talking about here, not mine or yours, Christ's. I noticed certain sects, judgmental people, want to tear that apart and cause division amongst the brothers/sisters. What do they debate about? The word of God. I guess they are correct in one thing, they rightly divide the 'word'.

Here is my problem with 'Slice' and it's head writer (I won't name names). Firstly, they call out people by name (ex: Rick Warren/Billy Graham) just to judge them and cut them down. Secondly, you are not entitled to an 'opinion' but stick to the what the word of God says (apparently someone has cornered the market & figured the whole thing out, thank God). Thirdly, they speak in such an elitist mind-set that one might believe that the only Christians are these people (so Protestants are going to hell, too bad fellas). Fourthly, everything has to be actually in the word of God for a church to adopt it (goodbye microwave). Finally, their leader decides what this people will accept and what they won't (hello Jim Jones).

Now if you read that and compare it with the gospel it doesn't add up. Actually, one might consider this leader, dare I say it, a 'Pharisee'. Not only that but he betrays the very body of Christ to which he is called. He is filtering out positive messages of forgiveness and acceptance to promote a doctrine of division and slander to those that blog on his site. If you don't agree with him then you don't get posted. To me it is as plain to see as the sun is shining, the man is proud. So proud he will not admit to wrongs, only to being right, and will not consider other believers of various denominations as his brother/sister...top that off, he censors out messages of the acceptance type and allows only divisionary topics...this he teaches to others.

So what messages are coming out of that site? Rick Warren and anyone that follows the 'purpose-driven' life are anti-christs (against Jesus). Trying to be 'modern' with your faith is wrong, we should look up to the Puritans (see last blog for American history). Christian rock music, humor, and plays are right out of the question. Basically, if you can make it seem like you are one of the only 'chosen' ones of God then all is well with the world.

Listen up. You can try as hard as you will but you will never destroy the body of Christ, he chose these people not you. You may not like them and they might not like you but you are brothers and sisters. No amount of scripture you memorize, no amount of judgmental zeal, and no amount of divisionary tactic you produce will change that...why? They are chosen of God also. They believe in Jesus, read His words, and live by them...isn't that the earmark for a Christian? So quit tearing the body of Christ limb from limb, get over your anger, forgive people, and realize this is a God of love & acceptance we worship, not a God of division. Odd fact, even Satan doesn't try this hard to divide his kingdom, lest it should fall.

The Good Samaritan: A Church His-story

I finished reading an interesting blog about a '95 theses' levelled towards USA churches and the call to back away from Nationalism/Patriotism. I am not American so I could not sign the petition but if they ever get one for Canada, I am signing. It got me thinking about Christians that say the church needs to return to it's 'roots' in both Canada and America...supposedly these countries are founded on Christian ethics. A closer look shows that is non-sensical jargon.

How are we founded on Christian ethics? They like to remind us of our Constitution and the colorful religious language used. How our founding fathers had real faith, and that somehow this faith has dissipated through the age. I look back at the church and laugh it to scorn, I see very little the church has done for equity, justice, and forgiveness...all this while hanging onto the hand of 'big brother' or as I call it 'governmental kingdoms'.

The church has a very shady 'social justice' track record, actually on a real close look one will see they never speak out against government. Here are a few examples.

When America was 'conquered' (colonialism) the invading people's slaughtered American Indian tribes, removed them from their lands, gave them piece-meal lands they never lived on, and even intentionally spread diseases to their people's to wipe them out. Why? Settlers needed a place to live and apparently God had given the land to Europeans & French...funny fact, Aboriginal people's never believed anyone could 'own' the land so they weren't opposed to sharing it. The problem was they were dis-owned and considered 'heathen's, savages, barabarians, etc.'. Where was the church when all this was going on defending the rights of these human beings? They helped the gov't every single step of the way. They built churches and residential schools dis-avowing Aboriginal culture and language. In Canada, the gov't and church robbed a few centuries of parenting from Aboriginal people, thus de-moralizing a nation. What was the church concerned about? Salvation and repentance. Government was building a country and a railroad.

Now America conquered and started building an economy, where do you think they found a cheap workforce? They imposed slavery upon African-Americans (stealing them from Africa) to work in their fields and other businesses. They treated these people less than human (which they considered them to be) and bought, sold, tortured, raped, and killed them as needed. They treated the African-American so bad they considered them livestock, started breeding them even. They destroyed family after family of African-American descendant for financial gain. All the while the church said very little on the practice of slavery, seeing Paul had condoned it they felt justified. Church-goers seeing it not a sin (these were not humans) and slavery was okay, felt little to no remorse. What did the church do? Continued preaching hell-fire and brimstone to whomever would listen. Government was concerned with money and using the land.

Early part of the 1900's and into this new century two world wars broke out. The 2nd World War being even worse than the first with human attrocities that shocked the world: starting with a theory of human superiority, then the persecution of Jewish businesses, then outright damnation of Jewish people, followed by rounding them up and putting them in concentration camps to be killed. None of this was real secret knowledge to mass Germany and Hitler's war of destruction was no secret either. This led to the death of 6 million Jewish people and around 20 million people worldwide. Where was the church? Apparently the Catholic church and whoever else there was, within Germany, bonded with the gov't so as not 'to rock the boat' (I don't forget Bonhoeffer and his efforts). I mean, no one actually wants to be killed for their beliefs. The church became silent in the most deadly hour, forget rapture, they just shut their mouths. Where else was the church? Dividing itself up into many denominations...so we fought against ourselves while this all went down.

What other issues? The building up of mass nuclear arsenals (namely the USA), destruction of the environment/global warming, civil rights in the 60's, Vietnam and the shooting deaths at Kent State, persecution of South American countries/policies (including Cuba), persecution of Middle East countries for any reason, The Rwandan genocide, Big business & globalization and destruction of poorer countries economies, etc. I can't re-call ever hearing a church speak out against 'something real'. Actually the Rwandan genocide provides my exact point.

Everyone knows of the movie 'Hotel Rwanda', which is the true story of a hotel owner that took in many Tootsees who were being slaughtered by the Hootuus. That person risked his life and his livelihood in order to save as many people as he could. Ironically, little have ever heard of 2 nuns from the Catholic Benedictine order from Rwanda. They apparently had chances to save many people in their convent, which could hold 100's of people. They not only refused to 'house' these people but called the National Guard to personally kill all the people that came to them. Some got burnt to death, some had their bodies chopped up, and others were shot. Now, who was the good samaritan? Who of them loved their neighbor?

There is barely anything I want to remember about the church in the past 100 years, nevermind the last 400. The church misses the mark everytime because they miss the real message of the gospel, we have to stand up for our neighbors if we love them. What seems to be the current history of the church (and in the past) is that we argue for salvation, repentance, and baptism before we will argue to stop the building of nuclear bombs (which in the end will wipe us off the face of the earth) or these wars built on nothing less than colonialism (ex: Vietnam and Iraq). For some reason the church can't see the trees from the forest in the bible. It sure doesn't help to have nationalistic fervor and blindly believe your country is backed by God and His kingdom. If that is so, why does your countries commit such atrocities...these atrocities coming from what people would call the most 'civil' countries in the world? We need to re-examine our faith in government, we just might find your shaking hands with the beast after all (with the power to give and take men's souls as he pleases).

Live & Let Die:'Take Up Your Cross'

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately, from right-wing to left-wing, and basically I noticed a shift in the way we view the church. There is some people out there that are starting to see a new vision for the church, in that vision they challenge the current structure but they feel alone so they 'do' nothing (similar to Elijah, who hid, who still had 70 that never bowed a knee to Baal). It raised for me an interesting point, if there is like '70' of us out there with this vision, why do we leave church and take our talents and 'hide them away'?

Why? We didn't think God would ask this of us, still we seeked for the answers we got, we just never expected it to work out this way for us. This '70' likely left the church and developed their ideas in secret, away from prying eyes and the over-bearing structure of the church (similar to the prophets in the OT). There is however one remaining difference between those prophets and this '70', those prophets risked it all to change the religious structure of it's day. We do not risk a thing, except the fact we fail with what God has shown us.

Do I see this in the gospel at all? It is the gospel. Jesus, ironically enough, risked it all for the God he loved and in turn loved Him also. Funny thing about Jesus was he saw this coming still His faith challenged the religious order of the day and He was killed for it. What do you think He was teaching the whole time? Jesus went into the heart of the religious order, challenged it's ideals, ethics, and sincerity, and was then crucified for showing a God of love (whereas the religious judgment (blasphemy) had Him killed). This is the same person we call saviour.

What was Jesus saying to us? God's love/salvation is for everybody and no structure can be strong enough to bottle that up, if they do, then they must be challenged. Jesus didn't dismiss this would happen. In calling his disciples he said 'follow me'...or 'do as I do and follow right behind me'. He mentions in the beatitudes (Matt 5:10-12) persecution for your faith...from who? Atheists? Apparently, the religious order of the day since every disciple was 'persecuted' for their belief in the Christ, even killed. Jesus also further mentions 'take up your cross and follow me', now if that ain't obvious I can't make it any clearer. The cross came to signify 'death' not wearing it as comemerative decoration. Just so you do get it, you just might be killed for your faith in Christ...which in turn means defending justice, mercy, and faithfulness (Matt 23:23).

So the prophets of old and Jesus all followed this weird formula, challenging the religious order of the day when they saw 'hypocrisy'. But we don't see the need, we get this vision, leave church, develop our ideas of a God who loves us, and then we live happily ever after...wrong. The body of Christ needs you. Why would God show you something and ask nothing of you? Find me one person God gave answers to that did nothing with it? For this is the gospel. The reality of it all is the church doesn't like you and you don't like it. Why? Apparently, the church thinks it has the whole revelation of God when in fact that doesn't seem to be the case at all. I'll bet Israel in Elijah's days thought the same way. I'll bet Jeremiah was hated for being against Israel when in fact he was for them. I'll bet they killed Isaiah because his vision of God didn't line up with traditional views. I'll almost bet that Jesus was killed because they thought he was a 'blasphemer' and taught against the structure...what was his charge, oh yeah, that he will destroy the temple 'of God' and rebuild it in 3 days. Sounds eerily familar to some of the '70' in this modern context.

So you wanna follow Christ? But I don't want to go to church dear sir. But I don't want to be disliked for my views on God. I don't want to challenge their views, as archaic I find them to be. Then suit yourself, follow yourself. You have been given a gift from God and you refuse to follow through on your search. But can you say with me 'I do have fear'. Not a fear of God, no way, you know He is loving and accepting and all those wonderful things you have experienced. You have a fear of man. He is not so loving, accepting, and all those wonderful things you have learned of God. So what makes them right and you wrong, silence.

If you love your neighbor, then live amongst them and show them the love of God. Do you not know we are the leaders of tomorrow, something that we fail to forget. Something else we fail to forget is that if we leave the church in that state what of the next generation that is diluted by their mechanism, or your family, or your friends? Did you get this feeling sometimes that you used to bring people to church only to say 'you brought them like sheep to wolves'. Imagine how many more do the same. It is time. Time to see the structure changed from the inside-out.

I heard someone said they were 'crazy' for believing what they do. I think your crazy to have a great view of God and no one knows. I think it is crazy not to share that grace with many that need it. I think it is crazy to think God never picked you out. I heard 5 words from God once that changed my life, 'your words shall effect many'.

The Devil's Advocate: Theology on the screen

I had a chance to watch the Devil's Advocate (the movie) last night, having never seen it before I was expecting a horror flick, I was pleasantly surprised by the film. The show gets into some deep theology over the question of satan: his intentions, the way he works, and humanism. After watching that show it really got me thinking about what was being said in that show.

For those who never saw the show basically it's about a law firm run by satan. It attacks issues of all sorts and how 'sin' can destroy the human life, which in this show, seems to be Satan's plan. It was weird to watch a show that displays a theology proposed by Christiandom, on the views of what Satan is all about. What's even weirder is that I learned something from it. What did I learn?

Humanism is a theory that devises against humanity, not for it. In the show the devil says 'he is the last real humanist'. Giving humans what they always wanted, without judgement, unlike a God who he calls a 'watcher'. It gets a lot deeper but I got the point. As humans try to search for answers they mostly look to what is around them. So they delve deep into lust, vanity, war, and greed, which results in ultra-humanism (we are gods). All of this taking place on a world stage where humans effect politics, business, communication, the environment, and law. What's so dangerous about us humans? We are destroying ourselves and the world because of the loss of ethics and concern for all people.

The saying 'do unto others as you would have done unto you' was something that was really re-inforced in this film. It seems each step we take away for this moral the closer we get to true evil. Every step we take closer to valuing this ethic, the closer connection is developed amongst humanity and a sense of love. This ethic drew a defining line between God and satan's definition of humanity. God created and values humanity and does not want to see it's mass destruction. Satan has hated the human from existence, it's demise would prove God doesn't love them. The thing is we aren't 'pawns in the game'.

The strongest point of the film was that humans ultimately decide their fates, free will is a gift that allows us to make the world better or worse. So there are two sides in humanity, one representing good and one representing evil, but you are prone to nothing except your choices. This is where theology gets deep. God created us as good beings, in His image. We are creatures of free will, so even if God loves us, it may mean little if the creation puts itself above the Creator (also humanism), coincidentally the same thing satan was cast out of heaven for. Point being, we have to make the choices that will define our life, our world, our ethics, our relationships, our faith, and ultimately the lives of those around us.

And this is where I chime in. Spirituality is devised of relationships. Our relationship with God and our relationships with others. Spirituality is passed from person to person in each and every interaction, whether for the good or the for the evil. We have the power to both create and destroy the lives around us. Some might say 'we have nothing if God didn't allow it', well the fact is He did allow it...it's called choice and that's the spiritual battlefield. I see that in choice we have the ability to reason, within ourselves, for ethics that promote the 'greater good' or the 'greater evil'. What I see on earth, as it is, is the promotion of choices. The key to it all is responsibility. We have to take responsibility for our actions (call it repentance). True responsibility speaks of 'doing for others as we would want done for us'. Apparently, on this saying hangs all the law and the prophets (the whole OT). It is in that saying we see spirituality to it's highest degree.

So all that from a movie. I have to say I enjoyed the film since it got to me to think what is truly destroying this world. Satan's vices have no power unless we so make it that way. God's will has no power lest we so make it that way. Maybe I am promoting a type of humanism in saying that but that's why 'choice' is the battlefield. What cannot be mistaken is one of these 'wills' is being played out by us everyday, that is why have to start determining our ethics.

What am I? A Church quiz.

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern.
You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern
93%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan
79%
Classical Liberal
57%
Charismatic/Pentecostal
54%
Neo orthodox
43%
Modern Liberal
39%
Roman Catholic
36%
Fundamentalist
29%
Reformed Evangelical
25%

I did this survey, http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=43870, and I learned something. Number one I am more Catholic than Fundamentalist, what a weird twist of fate. Secondly, I think it pinned me on some issues. I actually do see modern church as becoming slowly irrelevant. Also, evangelism (I do believe) needs to reflect relationship building, thus 'brothers and sisters in Christ'. Take the quiz, it's fun and you might find something out about yourself you never knew before.

'Moving the hand of God': what does it mean?

A friend and I have been dialoging for a while on a subject I raised about religion, structure, faith, and a return to the original faith. In the midst of those dialogues I heard a line I haven't heard for some time, 'moving the hand of God'. I have some simple questions about this line of thinking, mainly for my enlightenment.

What does 'moving the hand of God' mean exactly? That I have the ability to make God conform to 'my will'? I am not sure if it means that but it would follow similar jargon I have heard in churches for years. The other jargon refers to us speaking on behalf of God, that as instruments of faith in Christ, we actually speak for God. These ideas trouble me. They give me a sense of alarm to be honest.

I love this title by Chuck Colson, 'Who speaks for God'? I read it years ago and one thing always stuck with me, that we do not. We may have the words of Christ in our hands but that does in no way pre-suppose we actually can say 'God said...', a very flippant term that is tossed around like we just got off the phone with God. What is wrong with that you might ask? Easy. Is it true?

Now I am aware I can say I am gaining a better understanding of God, but do I know God? Not really. I have never seen Him and His will for my life I cannot be absolute on. What I am aware of is that Jesus came as a sacrifice for 'that will', living with us, conversing with us, and understanding our very being. His words were recorded by early disciples and they portray a person that can relate to the human condition, 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak' (doubt) or 'forgive them for they know not what they do' (ignorance). Jesus relates to humanity in the utmost with His teachings. That still doesn't give us the right to act like we authored the book.

We have a book, the bible, and namely the Gospels which refer to the very words of Jesus. That's it. As far as further authority that other people try to conjure up, well it falls short of my litmus test. We are all interpreting and living the same words in a world far removed from the times of the OT & NT; we have some writings to base a faith on and I recognize that. Do I believe Jesus is really alive? Yes. Do I believe God can intervene? Yes. Faith is still faith to me. What I am doing however is removing the formula for personal spirituality, and if there is a formula it is this: we are human beings in a world of troubles, we have to be 100% responsible for what we do to others and live on this planet while we are here; all that in accordance with our personal understanding of God (now thats spirituality).

Why is 'speaking for God' a dangerous thing? It's supposing we know what God is saying altogether, giving us a false authority (almost as if we were gods). This has proven to be disasterous in all situations I can recall. One can refer to Jim Jones (god complex), Koresh (messiah complex), Jerusalem syndrome (prophet complex) as worst scenarios. Then you get a structure where people see certain figures as 'people who speak for God' and to oppose them is almost an apostasy: Pastors, Evangelists, Apostles (do they exist?), Teachers, Prophets, etc. Lastly this leaves the common church-goer at the whims of their leaders. They are duped into thinking certain things about God which may be altogether false: he doesn't like you anymore, you're not sure if you're going to heaven or hell (true insecurity), God is a judge first, then loves you second, You can become an apostate & not know, Don't dis-obey the church authority or any authority for that matter, Not coming to church means you backslid, your prayers don't get answered because you're a sinner, etc. People are fed these messages because someone supposes 'they speak for God'.

All this leads back to 'moving the hand of God'. Well how do we 'move that hand', OUR prayer. By something I CAN DO. So if I pray hard enough, or for long enough, then the 'hand of God' will move. Truth is, I have nothing to do with that 'hand' moving. Just like how if you ask me everyday for a loaf of bread and I CHOOSE to say 'no', you won't get that loaf of bread. For all your 'asking', it's still up to the person who 'will's' to give or not give that bread (I speak as a human). Even in saying that I suppose God is like a human, which is most likely false, but that's my brain for you. The point is I can't move a hand that isn't mine. I may ask, seek, knock but it's still up to God (I can believe that). In the end it is God's 'will' that counts, we see as a human with our own prerogative and biases. That's what I do know.

So, the question is this - can you 'move the hand of God' or 'speak on God's behalf'? I am not saying I have the answers, I know I don't have it all figured out, but I like to hear people's voices on the issue.

The Matrix: Living to Lie and Lying to Live

I recently had my brother over to watch the hockey game and we got to talking religion, a very common thing around my house (ask my wife). I was telling him about what I was doing with a group I started and he let me know how his life was going. We got to talking church politics and religious structure and he made me realize something, the matrix of reality. I will explain how this all unravels.

The church has become a matrix, we have become 2 or 3 dimensions removed from the original incidents of Christ's life. The church is interpreting Christ in light of those 2 or 3 dimensions after His life, ignoring the original because we cannot see it anymore. A good analogy is that of a tree removed 2 dimensions. You start off with a real tree, actually growing from the ground. Let's say they all disappear (the trees) and they are replaced with plastic ones. People become used to that after a while (since generations will continue on). Plastic one's become a hassle and they are replaced with computer imagery (looking more realistic). People are none the wiser since it is still a tree, it resembles the original form, but all in all it is a fake. This is the matrix and I truly believe we have entered this train of thought with Christian ideologies and interpretation of scripture.

The reason I say we have a Matrix because, unlike a tree, beliefs and ideas are easier to sculpture to our purposes (they cannot be seen). Ideas within the church have changed from bygon to bygon and one look at church history tells you of how incredulous some ideas and ideologies have been, an example crusades. The church, as a structure, promotes a structure and not really faith in God at times; they push ideas and thoughts passed down from a denomination and everything has to fall in line with that dogma. What we have is a matrix, we have a structure (an idol), teaching based on a denominations dogma, based on one man's findings (ex: Luther), based on errors in church history, based on the monks and holy people before them, based on Roman Christianity, Based on disciples of the orginal disciples, based on the original followers of Christ, based on Christ's life, based on the OT. Have we become removed from the true intentions of Christ's life? Good question.

What we need are some examples from modernity.
(1) The Sinner's Prayer: I have no clue where this came from but I do know the church has adopted this as a 'sign' that someone has been 'saved'. They build fantastic theologies upon it that result in questions like 'once saved always saved' and 'grace vs. works: works is not that important to salvation'. I applaude the charade, I really do. Is there a basis for any of this in Christ's teachings? I have found no where in the teachings of Christ where one prayer defines your salvation. Is this to be called faith in Christ? Even when Christ's teachings don't even back it.

(2) Church Services: The services we have these days find no scriptural basis. We have a worship part (always at the beginning), then an offering and even some meeting people, then some testimonies or 'prayer' for problems out there, the preaching of the word, then an altar call (end prayers and music), then good-bye. Maybe it's just me but isn't this a European idea of church, loosely based in Catholicism? Firstly, Public offering (giving), prayer, and fasting are all shown as 'non-signs' of sincere faith. The altar call, as sincere as we make it seem, is you praying for my salvation/healing...oddly enough, faith can only be done by the individual...so that prayer right there should be prayed by the person in secret where only God can here. What do we really got? A damn fine show of godliness that forgoes scripture for the structure.

(3) Spirituality: Spirituality is slowly coming to be defined as actually singing songs to God, I think they call it 'worship'. True people that are spiritual will love worship services and whole-heartidly participatory. I have seen this trend grow, a close look reveals less a faith in God and more to prove your love for God (to the higher-ups). Spirituality is not singing songs, that may be part of it, but it's not even the cornerstone. Spirituality boils down to something so simple we do it all the time and is the true determinent in eternity. 'Do unto others as you would have done unto you'. 'Love God with all of you and love your neighbor as yourself'. ''In as much you did it for one of the least of these my brothers, you did it unto me'. Jesus makes a great case for spirituality being an everyday way we effect the lives around us, for the good or bad.

(4) Exclusivity, 'this is our club you heathen': Something slipped into the church a long time ago and has refused to release it's paws of oppression, exclusivity. The church actually believes they are 'going to heaven' and the people outside the church are 'going to hell', why? They accepted Christ into their hearts and the others didn't (usually exemplified by a simple prayer). The church then finds fit to exclude the people that are not with them, to not even really try help them. They self-justify from scripture but they are so off-kilter it's borderline in-humane. The words of Jesus talk about defining who goes to heaven and who goes to hell, but I am damn sure that is not for us to assume. Jesus is harshest on a few people, the main group called Pharisee's, and why? They make it harder for someone to get to heaven than for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle. Whereas Jesus is called a drunk and is found hanging out with prostitutes, drunks, and other shameful humans...he calls them friends. When did church miss reading this?

It's funny because I mention a lot of interesting idea's and some church folk will agree or disagree, all I am doing is pointing them back to Gospels. For those who do agree, do you do it only in 'word' thus fooling yourself, although appearing to be holy all the while. Let's just say I pulled the curtain on the 'Wizard' himself, a tin man, a lion, and a man made of straw saw the same thing. So what do you think...the Matrix really there?

Giving it up: The true hollywood story behind a project

I recently caught a whiff of what some people are calling a charitable event, building a school and a church in the hood. Not such a bad idea but when you see the costs of the project (over 1 million dollars) it makes you wonder if this is good for the hood?

The idea is they tear down a old church, and a few houses, in the hood then build a new building housing a school & a church. They even have a group that is raising cash of this endeavor, dubbed as 'friends of said church'. They picked the right name, they are friends of the church, but of the neighborhood...that's another question altogether. Funny, they have a fundraiser 'Lobster Night' at $50.00 a ticket, who do you think is going to that? Nice well-meaning, rich folk.

I think the idea is a type of 'sound good' church politics in the name of helping a community but in the end it doesn't add up. They are raising money to tear houses down (I think 2) and a church to build a new school/church. My problem is that most people in that neighborhood can't even afford to own a house yet a church has money to destroy 2? Yet they are supposed to be identifying with the needs of the community. Is that what the community asked for...a new school & church?

It's a group with no connection to the community and they see charity as building churches and a school, a very missionary endeavor. They have money to give yet they give it to finance buildings, same sh*t I railed on another church for building a $250,000 parking lot. These are the ideas that make us (Christians) look nice but mean very little in the actual helping of people. They are giving in a mis-guided way, name how one person specifically is helped in this project (that doesn't exist now)?

I see a mis-management of funds in the allocation of this cash. That million dollars could go towards programs to help people that want to buy houses, fix their homes, fix the church, get an education (external sources), tutoring programs for their children, etc. Tonnes of ideas but then you have to look at the mentality behind it.

These people already have a school & church in the same building, but the building is a little broken down. It makes sense to fix it up or replace the church (to me anyways). My problem comes in when I think the church is exclusionary. They will help the have's (people of professed faith in their ranks) and won't help the have-not's (people of not professed faith). Thus you see a church helping itself with the money raised. The people around them get very little except to see a nice building on their street, which they have no investment in.

Can the money be spent better? Yes. Is it another case of church (a building) over church (the people)? Yes. Is it another case for people to bat their eyelashes and say nothing? Yes, God forbid you should raise real questions about what good this is doing anyways (since it looks good). I have been calling for giving like this from churches (which I applaud) to help wipe out poverty, but I'll never see that day if people think this is the answer. What do you think? Is there a better solution or am I too far gone?

The end of faith? What a revelation.

I am reading a book called 'the end of faith' and it seems to be written by some illuminati believing, scientist, atheist, with an axe to grind...personally I love the book. The book raises some great questions all the while raising an alarming world ending possibility, the end of faith as we know it. Watch how I break this down.

The writer (Sam Harris) poses the idea of the irrationality of faith in a God that no one can see, or some books of the divine that no one can readily prove came from God. He starts to poise that science has become a better process and needs to replace faith that is without reason, we need to test our beliefs. Then he gets in to why faith in a God is stupid based on history's death toll.

He spouts the attacks on witches by the Catholic church (where thousands died with no proof they were a witch) and the attack on Jewish people by Catholics in the same time (not to mention Nazi Germany). There is a belief that the ignorant church caused some atrocities (absolutely). Then he gets into modern destruction coming from faith, remember the Muslims attack on 9-11 (3000 people die so some martyrs can get to heaven). Ireland still has a bloody fued between Catholics and Protestants, nevermind Bosnia. He makes a strong point against the faith of most religions that have a montheistic point of view.

His answer, end to faith, plain and simple will solve the worlds problems, He reasons that the Jewish people and Palestinians have been fighting over the 'holy' land for like 30 years or more, backed by USA involvement. Take God out of the picture and no fight over land, what they are dieing for is God's promised land & also their bigotry for one another which is based in religion. So Sam see's it this way: take God and the sacred books away, no inside story and no outside blood-baths. He has a point, a very un-ethical one, but a point nonetheless.

I came up with a theory of my own, call me an end-times prophet if you will, or not. I think in Sam Harris' book I see a look into the future, sadly enough, that I believe will happen. This idea for the end of faith just has to fall into the wrong hands and slowly a case is building for the end of faith in political circles. In your head it's easy to not like the Muslim religion, due to the attacks. The death of 3000 can change one's mind towards a religion quickly. Thus the USA gov't called a war on Afghanistan and Iraq, both Muslim countries...who's next Iran? This with the help of Britain and other countries. So there is a dis-like for this kind of fanatacism rising out of faiths.

Catholicism has tonnes of blood on it's hands and Christianity is bringing up the rear with it's recent fundies bombing abortion clinics and end-times mass murderers (Jim Jones/David Koresh). I can see a point where people begin to reason that faith causes destruction and a world without religion may be a safer one. How can that happen? Now I get fundamental myself. The world united under one common leadership. A new 'Hitler' that has some world-wide influence, is it possible? It's more than possible it's happening as we speak.

See one thing unites the world, money, the almighty dollar, it speaks every countries language, 'cha-ching'. Funny thing, business has gone international breaking every countries political barrier in the name of the new green party. A good example is Wal-Mart, they are in every part of the world. They are in communist countries, muslim countries, capitalist countries, the moon, etc. Point is they are everywhere and they have absolutely no ethics. How can a company have no ethics, easy, in the name of profit and jobs. Thusly, a souless corporation goes international, and enslaves poorer countries all the while under-paying and abusing the hard-working middle class in richer countries. The end benefit goes to a corporation that sucks the money out of 2 countries for themselves, thus, becoming a country to itself. They get people voted, they pay into campaigns, they get laws passed to help themselves, and all the while no one does a thing, why? They are a faceless business, who the hell do you blame?

There is a one world system developing, it's business, it's money, it's greed, it's what Jesus said, 'you cannot have 2 masters, it's either God or money'. In this age, money has to push God out the open window, because something called ethics is holding them back from more profit. Soon leaders of the world unite to better their countries financially, similar to a European Union. What they find is Muslim countries, Israel, and others will not come aboard. Problem. Faith. Answer. War. So the world unites in peace but for monotheistic faiths, the world has become a judge. Unless they will join happily, they will be forced to. Number one, all those countries in the Middle East are Muslim, no problem with making war with them...remember their atrocities. Secondly, Israel...a road-bump to peace since time immemorial. Thirdly, Christianty & Catholicism pose an ethical stumbling block (even the Vatican is close to the Middle East).

The world gathers itself in war against the Middle East and those countries will not leave, but die for their faiths. Why? Holy land for Jewish people (Israel). Holy land (Mecca and Medina in Saudi Arabia) for Muslims, Vatican for Catholics. Maybe revelations has some validity. I can see a scenario where the world actually does gather in that part of the world, even Jerusalem.

However, I could be full of it, and most likely this is at best a 'conspiracy theory', or a guess. That being said, the point is as Christians we are 'sleeping', at that a deep sleep . Business is out there running rampant, committing horrible atrocities but we don't even bat an eye, cause people like Wal-Mart are so damn cheap and we can't find someone to blame. There are people teaching this word, contrary to true faith causing people to hate us, or faith in general. There are things we can do to make a difference and stand up for truth. Boycott companies that create atrocities for the sake of profit (ex: minimum wage while owners are billionaires, child labor in other countries, poor living conditions for those child laborers). We need to teach a faith that is true, consistent with Jesus' teachings, that has an ethical backbone and doesn't seperate us one from another. I can see a outlawing of faith, tragically enough, but I don't want to see an end to faith. "When the son of man returns, will he find faith on this earth?"

The Battle for the Book

There is a battle going on out there over interpretation of the Scriptures. There are variant scriptural views that have created many denomination splits & caused for teaching about God whether accurate or inaccurate. The problem is this: we are teaching about God, not some human being, and a distorted view on God can create real distorted people who think they are doing God's will; dangerous. The problem is the structure may be harming some people. Better to have no information than to have mis-information. This is where we need to start writing some wrongs. Here is an example.

I know a guy that thinks he is a prophet. I think this was prophesied to him, oddly enough. The fact is that he isn't. He has made some supposed 'prophetic' statements that have turned out false, nothing wrong with that but it shows he is mis-informed. The tragic thing is he believes he is doing God's will. Nothing wrong yet? It gets worse. Apparently he has a condition whereby you need medication to remain balanced; he stopped taking it. God will cure him. He has a wife and kids also. He has a fetish for the end-times stuff also. Problem being that if it was just him being effected by teaching that has helped him warp his mind then no problem, the thing is lots of people are being effected (some are kids). Now he believes he is a prophet and can't be told anything productive to change that. Truth is he is twisting words in an off-kilter spitituality that was taught to him by church leaders. What's the outcome? That chapter remains open. All I know is I won't sit by and idly watch.

Now I am teaching a bible study, starting with the book of Matthew. I am coming to write the wrongs that I have seen. I am teaching what is actually there and not over-spiritualizing something. Understanding that everything we do is spiritual. Sometimes things just need to be portrayed as they really are and it will make all the sense in the world. Here are some crazy examples.

John the Baptist says a line I know gets mis-interpretated a lot. "He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire". Most current church theology says this means 'on fire for God', they are right oddly enough - in an off-kilter way. The truth is from looking at that scripture fire comes to mean judgment since the preceding uses of fire are to 'burn useless wood' and 'useless wheat chaff'; also it is said to the Pharisees. What is actually being meant is a baptism is coming, some to holiness and some to fire...a judgment. The current church is right that they are 'on fire', cause they 'judge' people like it's going to be a lost art. The real point of the scripture is Jesus baptizes with these 2 things, something only God can do.

Jesus uses an interesting bunch of scriptures in Matthew 5 that ends with 'be perfect as God is perfect'. I have heard this used to mean literally 'be perfect' or 'sinless'. That scripture couldn't ask more of you if that's true. But that's not what is being asked. The actual point being made is 'be like God in this regard, treat everyone the same'. That means treating people of faith and non-faith alike, even to a point the people that hate you deserve your kindness. The scripture backs that up with examples, one being God makes the sun shine on the good and the bad (equally). I am saying when we ask for perfection we may be putting a huge expectation on someone they can't live up too, thus they leave church feeling God is kinda against them. They have been mislead. Treat everyone as an equal.

For some reason the church doesn't find this odd but their view on money is a little warped. I think I saw Hagee on t.v. the other talking about the 4000 places in the bible where you will be blessed by God with money, some kind of promises; God is like a debit machine I guess. Actually the teachings on money seem to actually favor giving it rather than recieving it. Jesus actually mentions the story of the rich young dude who couldn't get in the kingdom due to wealth. There's a parable about some dude named Lazarus and the rich dude; the rich dude goes to hell for his behavior (but they make a point to say he was wealthy). The problem with serving 2 masters, God and money. The list goes on and on in the gospels. Truth be told, the early disciples in Acts sold everything and gave their money to one another and the community. There seems to be some Capitalism slipping into the church and oddly enough I am not a Capital-ist, I am a Christ-ian. But you couldn't tell that by church teaching. Whoever said 'blessed are the poor' musta been crazy.

It's getting funny but the few examples I threw out there really do make a difference if you change the meanings slightly. For some it changes the way they view spirituality, for some the right to judge others, and for some the right to be greedy. The problem is it makes people who don't follow that lead look like they are non-faith, not a friend of God. I think the core of the teachings is alright but try teach the end-times without driving a few people bonkers. The message is this: we are responsible for what we teach others and we are responsible to work to change that if we mess up. We are responsible! I am teaching a gospel and I will be responsible for what I say. Maybe I will even help clean up others messes in the process. Not to say I got it all together but I am saying I will be responsible. Take my word for it, wait...take your word for it.

Humility: I have a hunch

It's funny but as part of this Action Group, we are coming up with fund-raising idea's and some doozies have come out. There's the usual steak night kinda things, BBQ's, and raffles...then we get into dicey stuff for a church group. I am wondering am I pushing the line too far?

First off, a poker night? That's straight up gambling but teams do this for fundraising. It's an easy thing to put together and an easy thing to run. All the money made goes to a worthwhile charity and people get to have fun. I look at it and say 'why not'? It's not a traditonal way of raising money but it gets people together.

Secondly, an 'amazing race' type thing called the 'decathalon'. I would have 5 events at lounges and 5 events outside, all within the city. The events would consist of stuff like basketball free-throw, kicking field goals, completing a cross-word puzzle, music trivia mixed with karoake, a game of pool, etc (as examples). It's a fun event but some people thing going into lounges isn't appropriate. Still, a great idea (which I borrowed from someone else).

Comedy night? The thing about comedy is most people like to laugh at themselves but the more edgier stuff most people will see as 'too much'. But I think laughter is the best medicine. A buddy and me bounced some ideas off one another and had ourselves laughing til our stomachs hurt. Some examples are: The hunch: a 'hunchback' trying to help solve problems...his only line is 'I have a hunch'; The Roman emperor with a nasty 'wedgie', wants his servants to pick it out for him. 'Where have all the good times gone' (a musical) with a drunk actor who keeps breaking up the scene with 'cut the bloody music' and then going on a rant of how he is not going to beat his wife for the play, then storms out. The 'crack-pot' which really is a 'crock-pot'. Funny concepts that may be pushing the boundaries but they are all in fun.

A band night? 3 opening acts, none of them are church-goers, but they are friends of people in this group and would be willing to give. They play a hard rock style and they have a following in the city. A night like that could net quite a bit of cash if they are willing to give of their time for this endeavour. Most of them have said 'yes'. I personally like the people in these bands and they have been great to me. I said I would support this if we could pull it off. Edification none. Poor people helped, some.

Crazy ideas, huh? I see something really good in this. The non-faith and the people of faith coming together on neutral grounds. It's making friends and letting people know we, people of faith, are willing to make that step to them (no more smugness). And the good thing is they are giving to charity at the same time. It's my way of pulling them to the gospel even if they don't know it. So the question remains with you, are you willing to make that step to build relationships even if you lose your comfort zone?

April 4: The Day the King Jr. Died

I remeber it like I was there. The day King Jr. died, April 4, coincidentally is today. I think he was a 'hero' to humanity. So this blog I dedicate to his memory, a man that inspires me to a higher value.

How was he a 'hero'? Martin Luther King Jr. had passion, a zeal for the truth that wouldn't let him rest. In a time when black Americans weren't seen as equals to white Americans King Jr. looked them straight in the face and demanded respect. He used every talent he had and gave it for the cause: his administrative skills, speaking ability, leadership, even his life. He became the martyr for civil rights in America in the same vein as Gandhi in India. He was someone that knew truth was greater than his life, he gave of freely. His blood may have been spilled but it wasn't in vain, things have changed and things are still changing. He was a prophet in their midst and they failed to recognize it.

Something about King Jr. isn't lost on me, his passion. He spoke some words and gave great speeches but he also marched in the streets and sat at sit-in's....man of many words and even more actions. He said something but had the gravity to temper it with action. I admire someone like that. He may be gone but that attitude and passion burn on. It would be an injustice not to celebrate what he did, and in way, we do every day. I look up to him but I never met him.

Most of the people these days lack what he had, a fight for the truth. It's hard to look up to people these days, maybe that passion has been let go or something. Maybe their isn't a cause? Still, I don't see that passion in very many people.

So I 'give it up' to a man that stood up for something he believed in. He tells us that believing in something isn't a bad thing. Lots of people may not like you for standing up for something but if you are fighting for the truth then impressing people is mundane. King Jr. is evidence that doing something you believe in can come to pass. I like that message.

I remember that day, April 4th, coincidentally that's today.

Self-Righteousness: That's an Ego Trip!

Something I am surrounded with is self-righteousness, whether in the battle with myself or in the words of others. I am not too proud to admit that at times I come off as self-righteous, I am human after-all. I see the world through my eyes, my experiences, and my paradigms. I also notice this is prevelant around me, in the words of others. Just who do we think we are?

I think a form of self-righteousness is people that try to 'speak for God'. They speak words, from a text of scripture, that can come off as self-righteous...like they have all the answers. I read the same text and I am man enough to admit I have nothing more than you do...just the words of God in my current context, trying to make sense of those words in a 2000 world. I have seen people define spirituality in terms of religion & rules which is thusly their interpretation of the words read. They almost act like they have it figured out. When I look at their interpretation I see flaws and see human error. The same thing I see in myself when I try to define these 'words of God'. I mean some things are obvious that I read but some things are open to interpretation. How do we 'do church'; what's the paradigm? A question I have been asking.

I noticed a lot about people in the past few days when looking at myself. I have come up with grand ideas and those ideas make me feel proud. In my pride I am a fool. I begin acting like I have it all figured out but in reality I have not learned something you could not have. I do not have it all figured out when to your exclusion I have all the answers. I am a human remember.

Around me I have seen the same problem exploding. People think they are right to the exclusion of the other. Little do they know, they are obviously both wrong. How is it someone can think they are right and you are wrong? Ego? Pride? Selfishness? It's funny but the example that keeps me grounded is that of forgiveness, taught by Jesus. Forgiveness, as taught by Jesus, doesn't say someone is right but that even the wronged have the right to even ground with you. People want to use excuses like 'where is their repentance?' They don't notice that in their self-righteousness they actually refuse to forgive or allow the wrong party even ground, why? Because they are better than them.

I have seen this around me quite a bit lately and notice that only pride is behind it. Some people actually do believe they are better than the next person, that God has their best interest at heart as compared to the person that wronged them and for some odd reason God does not have their best interest at heart. Somehow in their confusion they can't realize God loves them both equally and shows no partiality in judgement. However, we are human and we do have partiality.

Do you think you are right to hold the flaws of someone else against them? In words we find self-righteousness, in action we find unrighteousness. I guess I am just sick of this attitude. Why can't people forgive? In their refusal to forgive they accept their self-righteousness as God's righteousness. They struggle with their very basis, the cross they were born through that signifies one thing...forgiveness. They, in their self-righteousness, exclude someone else thus abusing the very gift they were given. I am asking people to see if they are self-righteous and if they are...do something to change that attitude. Learn to forgive. Learn to treat people fairly. Get a grip on reality. It's the battle against ourselves. Just maybe we will realize how much of this world is centred on ourselves.

Should I stay or Should I go?

I was having quite the dilemma this week. I had met with the 'Action Group', a group I started to help others with 'needs', and found 4 members showed up. A couple of people could not make it but this number is a far cry from the amount of people at the beginning, 12 to 16. I went home after that meeting and can't say I was too impressed...a little disappointed in all honesty. I posed that question to myself 'should I stay or should I go'?

More people are actually withdrawing from the endeavor than are joining it. In a sense, I felt ambandoned. My wife and I talked about this and can see why people have left. There were at least 2 incidents where people have blown up in my face over small things since this group began. One issue was 'prayer' and the next issue was 'addressing a need'. I saw how these people allowed others to dis-believe what I was doing, I felt discredited. I haven't been in church for about 2 weeks and I still will miss another week. Those same people that doubt have found some foundation to doubt more, 'oh, he's not even in church'. So what was once a good 12 people had dwindled to 4 last meeting (2 could not make it). Can't help but feel a little upset.

I then thought about something obvious. I am having these troubles because I am actually doing something, those who do nothing face nothing. Prior to starting this group I was out drinking and doing 'whatever', never once did I face any criticism. Since starting this group week after week has been quite the test, people seem to be putting me through the ringer. I really looked at the fact it was easier on me doing nothing than when I was doing something. Kinda troubling to be honest. I guess at that point, after that meeting, I just got sick of the lack of effort and the criticism. I notice my wife and I are getting stuck doing every endeavor, people bring ideas and leave them to us, and all I can say is where is their responsibility? Where is their careful review of the very ideas they bring?

At the point of quitting and 'feeling' alone I figured how can I give up? I could go back and do absolutely nothing for no one and not feel satisfied. That would also require I leave church since I promised I wouldn't come back and just look 'religious' like I did for years. I had decided I would stay and just be who I am. If people don't like it or what it is I am doing they can turn their heads and ignore me. I guess I am happier with less people who have an idea what it is I am getting at instead of having lots of people that don't get it. I realized that I have to make people more responsible for what they bring to the group. We have to really look at these ideas we bring and analyze them until we get a good answer to a 'need'. The person who brings it is solely responsible for getting people involved.

I feel a little better since the last meeting but I realized all the doubting of others is getting to me and driving me 'crazy'. But I am too worried about what they think anyways and I have to let that go. All I can do is believe and that's what I will do. Maybe I am examining this group too much but if I didn't who would? I guess it was at the point of doubting myself that I realized I was losing a battle in faith. I really believe and try follow these words in all honesty, I make mistakes but I carry on. They may doubt but that's not where I started from, I believe first and doubt second. Lots of good things have happened for the people involved and a careful examination tells me that in continuing even more things will change. It's weird but I think every issue can be solved, I just believe that much in this endeavor and that God knows these 'needs' exist. I only have doubted, not in the solving of needs, but in the stupid questions people ask that lead only to limitations...only then have I even began to doubt.

What's the blog saying? My faith is intact and my beliefs continue to grow as I read through the gospels. I noticed my ideas have a strong backing from what I read in the gospels. So should I stay or should I go? I think I will stay, in faith and not in doubt.

Too be Religious or not to be Religious?

I have started this 'Action' group, and as I suspected, people haven't yet caught onto the idea. Actually, I have hit as much brickwalls of opposition as I have seen votes for the idea. Is it just me or is it like pulling teeth to get people to actually 'care' about other people in need? They'll commit to prayer and the likes but to actually lending a 'helping hand' seems to be an obstacle. All I am asking is what is in the scriptures, nothing too unreal, and that means your free time and using your 'disposable' income. Roadblocks. They want to look religious but ask them to act religious, well...that's an uphill battle.

Acting Religious? How do I figure? Quite simple really. At two various times some simple things came up, bible study (during the meeting) & prayer (before and after the meeting). I have addressed both issues and said 'no'. Why? I just don't want to become like everyone else, I just don't want to sell this idea short. Doesn't make sense? Here it goes. Those things are done to look 'Christian', in public anyways.

Bible study, in group discussions, I have noticed lead to varying views and debate...what's the use of that? So we can divide ourselves over something miniscule? And of what edification does it provide to talk about something and not just do it? I ask people to attend church and read the bible but still they persist a bible study needed to be done. I say read it at home and when you come here put it into practice. This is Practicality Street not Church Avenue.

The prayer issue (recent) is something I hold dear to. Jesus teaches in Matthew 6 about prayer in solitude, alone with God...true sincerity. Now we'd be having prayer for simple reasons like 'other groups do this' and 'to look Christian' but in all actuality it's not quite that sincere. The person who proposed it I asked her to pray and she said she didn't know how. Don't know how? She was a new 'christian' and not adept in the art of public prayer so I let someone, a pastor's daughter, say it. It flowed like words from a religious tongue, adept in the art of saying the right thing. It was then I knew that if we do this then it's so the people in this group can be 'sefl-righteous', have the look and feel of Christianity and very possibly get away with doing as little as possible. I am saying 'no' to this being a part of the group. I still stick to pray at home about these issues and ask God to show you what to do, even during the act of helping.

I have noticed people won't attend this group because I say these things, they need some validation of their Christianity to be a part, even before they will help a single person. I am absolutely 100% behind this one sentence: 'having the look of godliness, they deny the power thereof (behind it)'. Am I going for the 'looks' or the actual power 'behind it'? That sentence speaks of true sincerity. Actually if you read into a lot of Paul's works and the book of James you see this point reitirated in various ways. The life of Jesus smacks of this theme continually (almost the whole gospels are devoted to Jesus' arguements with the Pharisees). If you are looking to validate your Christianity at my expense, you barked up the wrong tree.

So in my weird bemusings I provide 2 things: A stumbling block to the 'Churches' way of doing things and thus they are offended. Second, I am accepting to those the church offended and offer a 'helping hand' back to the kingdom. Strange but I based everything on the gospels and all the good things that come out of this endeavor I have only God to thank.

The 6 Year Sentences

I find it funny that bible is full of colorful depiction about numbers, like 40 days and nights anf 7 days a week. It also seems that number 6 is one of unfinished business, the number of man in revelations...incomplete I guess. Well I just served two 6 year sentences that are finding some finalization in this second chance...call it rolling the dice.

I did a 6 year stint (93-99) in a church growing from a 'new-born' Christian full of zeal, judgement, rules and did everything to the letter of the law. It turned my life right around living with people, and attending church with people, that wanted something better in life. I was from a poor neighborhood with poor ideals to boot...if I hadn't of went to church at that time I probably would of wasted away or ended up in 'real' jail.

The first 3 years (93-95) were great and I think I broke a record for the amount of times I attended church in one year (something like 280 times). I was living with a Pastor and my brother in those first 3 years and they were awesome. I had some great spiritual experiences and did most of my learning and reading in that time; must of read the bible like 3 times front to back. I was travelling all over Saskatchewan and meeting cool people from all over the place. They were the same as me and I guess it was very communal (in that sense). I guess you could say my introduction to Christ helped me to get a grade 12 and to get some ambition. I startd attending Bible school, that's what I wanted to do, be like the 'great' spiritual leaders I seen on the stages. It was weird but looking back the rules gave me some structure.

The next 3 years (96-99) I attended and graduated from Bible College (BTH) while living with my younger brother and some others in that time. I had matured and maintained the same values for some years but that all changed when I noticed that my friends and I were changing with the times, but others weren't. My brother had been persecuted for having spiked hair, tattoos, and rings, he also played in a rock band (still Christian lyrics). My close friend was having struggles with church authority over his life and the fact he got his girlfriend pregnant (and life after that)...they were being pressured to marry but refused. These 2 people lived with me and were always in some trouble with the church...myself I was the 'golden' boy and had a promising career if I kept my head where it was. I couldn't ignore the plight of 2 'trouble-makers' who I had known and seen on a daily basis. I spoke up and that was literally the end of me also. I noticed we got judged in a lot of ways, most of them unjustified, but I think that's what authority does when it gets self-righteous and you start having some knowledge. We all quit church at about the same time, I guess you just get sick of the whole mess when you have no means of resolution and nowhere to turn.

From 99-2005 (6 years) I traversed the earth a vagabond, in a new world to me where I had lost touch. I played in a band for a while but that fizzled. I started drinking and smoking the New Year's Eve of 1999 I think...of all places I was in the hood...where I started. I hung around with this crowd, that crowd, and whatever crowd was doing something. I attended school anf got a BAdmin degree. I met my wife in this time around 2001 and can't say I picked the wrong person. I was going nowhere fast but that was better than being stagnant. I drank with all of my friends, most of them had left church too, and I continued for 5 years straight (every weekend), went to every bar, and had my share of troubles because of it (well not so much me but the people with me, but I was there too ). I have my share of stories, you pick, about sex, drugs, booze, fights, partying all night, and whatever else comes with this scene. But I learned a lot. Not a year went by, or even a day, that I wasn't learning something that in the previous 6 years I had denied myself. Was I doing the right thing? That's for the eye of the beholder I think...but yeah you could say the church and I had lost sight of one another. But I knew this all would play well for what was next.

Now were here in present day 2006, ironically it was New Year's Eve 2005 when I decided to cash my chips in again and play a new game. I came back to church but those 12 years have helped shape everything I do now. I have a very biblically based outlook on life but I haven't lost that 'human' touch either. I started a group when I came back only because I couldn't stand the same old church I was used too. I started an 'Action' group to help solve 'real' problems for people that suffer when no one does anything. I got back to the basics and read the bible without 'doctrination' in the forefront of my interpretation, I guess I found what I was seeking for and gave it to the 2 'trouble-makers' who embraced it gladly. I found my calling in two ways: biblical teaching (first 6 years) and in the 'human' touch (last 6 years). Let's call this the 7th year for both of them...now I am doing something biblical and giving it back to the people that really need it...'those who are sick need a physician', 'the son of man came to seek and save the lost'.

I just noticed from my reading Jesus was both the 'son of God' and the 'son of man', for some odd reason he never lost or denied either. Jesus was concerned with the human plight and our struggles with every thing under the sun. Jesus never denied his humaness nor his Godness, as evidenced by his teachings that deal with our humanity (how did he know it so well?) and even added the slant of God's 'eyes' on the situation. In the end, we find a God that knows us so well and actually cares about that plight...mostly evidenced by his love for us on that cross. It's something to say 'you want to be like Jesus' but to actually do it...well that's one for the open of heart to see. You have to deal with humanity, help people, and be realistic. Do you have it in you!

Where is the tap water?

I have been reading on this blog site so many different blogs, and each one a little more enlightening than the last. I never knew there was a 'little' Christian community on here, the least of them never read my site, but should they ever I have written something for them.

I noticed they spoke of everything from God's love, pain & suffering, arguments about the faith, and just basic life as a Christian. I enjoy each and every one of them, I like to see what others have to say and sometimes it's just great. That being said, Hi Paul, this is where the heart-warming ability I have been given ends.

I read all these blogs and something struck me, it's a lot of talk (and this is the medium for that), but it seems something is missing. They are like a tap. I see the tap and I know it has a very productive use but what exactly the use is I am not sure (I speak like I never seen a tap before)? That tap was created for use, for some use, and what that is I will find out if I try to use it. I think I have had the tap explained to me by everyone, and some have went out of their way to say how 'beautiful' it is. It's a lot of talk about a tap, but where's the tap water?

Tap water? How is that even a point? Well I can talk about the tap some more, it's a nice and shiny chrome, has a sink underneath it, I can even see my reflection in it's brigthness...how cool is that! But can I wash my hands with it?

It's an abstract thought really. The tap was created for a purpose. To allow tap water to flow so we can wash our hands or do whatever with that water, some even drink it. The tap without the tap water is useless. The tap water cannot flow without a tap. The water comes from a source that I cannot even pin-point, unless I follow the pipes and they go forever if you dare check. This is just a stupid analogy with no meaning! Or is there something we are missing?

I want the tap water! I know shoulda paid my bills...that joke is besides the point. How do I get that water? I put the tap to use. The tap is useless unless put into action then the water I require comes streaming out and I can do so much things with that water. Then I feel the tap has a point but until then it was useless, even if I could see my reflection and do my hair in it.

You are the tap. The water comes from a source (even a source we struggle to fully understand but the words of Christ have helped). There is a need, people want to use the water from the tap. How can that happen if we gladly speak so well about the tap but do nothing in showing them how to use this system. Where your faith is, so also are your works (not words).

Yeah, the unbeliever scoffs at us. Rightly so! We have explained a faith but we do very little to live it in their reality. They see faith they see words, they sneer. I have to agree with them in this, I allow the comments they give me whether good or bad because I did nothing for them anyways...but 'go and be warmed'. They see the tap alright but don't know how to use it! They had the gospel 'preached' to them but I recall something from Christ's ministry...not only did he preach the gospel to the poor but then followed up with action. He spoke words alright but he gave us the tap and tap water at the same time.

Faith without works is dead...doesn't exist. Thus a lot of talk means nothing unless action is taken to 'save' the poor (I should care for the 'rich' but theirs is not this kingdom). What do I mean by action? It's a fairly easy idea. Do something to love your neighbor that helps them out in a real way. If they ask for bread then give them bread. If they ask for water then give them some water. If they are sick then visit them (bring some aspirin). If they lack clothing then buy them some. If they are in prison, go see them, don't forget them. That's action and guess what? It requires you to give of your time and money, ouch! But are we capitalists at heart or Christians at heart? This part of the gospel seems to have gotten lost somewhere in translation.

Am I asking something unreasonable? Does this need to be argued for 'theologistics'? Do we need to divide this rightly so the non-faith people don't get help? Is this something you don't feel within you? It's a call to action not to arguing. If I am lying look around you, even within your own churches, and you will find there is needs everywhere we are missing. How can you call yourself a person of faith if someone asks you for food and you say to them 'I will pray about it' and do nothing? Or is that the old wallet doesn't stretch outside your comfort and convenience? And if I hear enabling or co-dependency again then I will know you find an excuse, not an answer or a solution.

Ouch! How can I say this? What authority do I have? I go by this old saying myself personally, 'Give to Ceasar what is Ceaser's, give to God what is God's'. Now money, and the goods it can afford us, belong to this world anyways. Let's go buy some food for the poor people we know. In turn we give to God what is God's, our following his 2 commandments (Love God with all of you and Love your neighbor as yourself). And I say spend your money and time on doing good, not giving lip-service to the doubters, if you wanna change someone's tune get invloved. Thus your testimony is perfected (full) in your actions. Here is what I did when I realized this.

I formed a group, I called it the 'Action' Group. I met with other people and started to find out what around us was wrong...people left church (let's contact them); Formed a monetary fund for the needs around us (we all gave); decided not to talk/criticize people but get involved in solving their needs; became a support group for everyone involved (the invloved and the helped); found services for people they can use so they can solve their problem (ex: addictions). The group is far from complete, but there is always room for one more. I saw that faith lacked substance, so let's get some substance by getting ourselves personally involved...thus seeing the truth...we really are brothers and sisters in Christ. We are meeting tonight again, only 5 of us this time but those 5 can do more than 1000's talking a good talk. In the end, I support you.

Brave New World: Lost in Translation

I criticize! I judge! I am but a mere mortal with very little knowledge of the big picture. I am stuck in the middle of the 'machine', and that 'machine' doesn't want to budge. The 'machine' singles you out! The 'machine' shows you the door and although it doesn't kick you out it mine as well, it paves a road for you. It's a brave new day. It's a brave new world. 'I am' is in the middle of this too somewhere but that is where this gets tricky. 'I am' is not the 'machine', even the name will tell you that. 'I am' lives and is real while the 'machine' is something I can touch but seems soul-less. There is a seperation here somewhere. It's a brave new person born in a brave new land.

If I miss the point then that's just too bad, the map was marked in advance and not by me. I am interpreting their scribbles and lines and not really getting what I want out of this trip. Their seems like their was a road on this map that was 'less travelled' and so it disappeared. The 'machine' won't let me interpret the map my way, follow the highways and bi-ways only. I am a brave new person though, not them. So what if I cut across some lines and make my own path, cause I can see a path and I want to take it. Then maybe I should, I'll be ostracized by the 'machine' but what's that matter to me. The people who adopt the 'machine' don't even know what they adopt anyways, they believe the map is infallible.

It's a trek alright. Making a path that some other people used to use, seems covered in long grass but I think it's there and the 'machine' tells me not to see it. Still, I see something and that something can't be nothing, can it? The 'machine' was part of me for a long time and doing this new path makes me doubt. I am sure other people have travelled here before and that's comforting, in a historical sense only. The other people around me offer absolutely no comfort whatsoever, they doubt first anyways...must be the 'machine' that puts that there in people.

I am only starting this travel. I am asking others to come along but they can't see a path that doesn't exist to them. I was shown the path one time, by the 'I am' that is part of the 'machine' but isn't. Could I be wrong? All I have to go on is blind faith and believe me it's quite blind right now, even the map from the 'machine' says so. But that experience I had with the 'I am' seems to supercede the 'machine' and even the map. The 'machine' is in my head still, but that is slowly fading with each step I take. Even if I have to cut the grass to find the path I will. I am so determined by my experience that the 'machine' lost its hold on me.

The 'machine' says it cared but on closer inspection is that even possible? I broke some of it's rules and became an outcast to it, the laws it kept made sure I was judged accordingly. It never threw me out but never gave me much hope after that point either. Farewell 'machine', I guess the road 'less travelled' has to be tried out sometime, by someone, brave.

The path will reveal itself slowly in time, I am not the only one who looked on that map and saw what I saw. Others will slowly follow, I am sure. Slow is the right word, I am alone out here in tall grass. It's the same map, the same 'I am', but I think the road they say isn't there is. The Baptist did something similar, cleared a path, I recall such a great story. I will do something similar, the 'machine' missed this path and took others down its paved road instead. I will cut this grass and let others know, the path the 'machine' made wasn't the only one. Were still going out into the same wilderness and this path still leads to the same city. Am I doing anything different? I am just not following that 'machine anymore!